I feel taken for granted. and I’m tired.

I am upset, I am sad, I want to cry, I want to scream, I’m just, uhhh every emotion except happy. Does love have a timing? I think it does, people will say that its just my way of getting out of something, but that’s not it at all. I think there is a right time for it. I think when two people fall in love, its because circumstances helped them, weren’t against them and they made it work. Well, here I am. 21 years old, I’ve been in love with the same man since I just turned 18 years old. Circumstances at the point were with us, we went to the same school, went to prom together, graduation parties together, spent a wonderful summer together. Then BAM…the Marine Corps. Is that circumstances against us? Cause I don’t know. It’s like I have so much love for one person I don’t even know what to do with it. But factor in our families, specifically mine and how disappointed they would be just if they knew we were even TALKING, is that circumstances against us? Or what about breaking up all the time? I’m pretty sure the last time was the fourth time. Or the newest, MONEY. I hate growing up! I hate credit cards, I hate how much my car costs me all the time, I hate taxes, I hate energy bills, I hate cable bills, I hate rent. I hate it all. How can I be so in love with someone I won’t see over the summer. Who knows when I’ll see him all due to money problems. I’m just really upset, I’m mad, I’m everything but happy and that’s no way to be.

And I know Anthony will read this, so I’m sorry. I had to write.